Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens."
儒教：孔子曰：“正在屙屎。”
Buddhism: If shit happens, it really is not shit!.
佛教：如果屙狗屎了，（相信我）那不是狗屎！
Zen: Shit only happens when it does not happen.
禅宗：屙狗屎只有在没有可能时，才能屙出来。
Hinduism: This shit happened before (and it will happen again).
印度教：很早以前就屙过狗屎（并且还会再屙）
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
伊斯兰教：如果屙狗屎了，这是阿拉的旨意。
Protestant: Let shit happen to someone else.
新教：让另外的伙计与屙狗屎吧。
Catholic: If shit happens, you deserve it!
天主教：就算屙了狗屎，你也要接收它！
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
犹太教：（天啦）为什么我们老是屙狗屎？
Atheism: Shit happens for no apparent reason.
无神论：没有明显的证据表明会屙出狗屎来。
Agnosticism: I think shit happens.
不可知论：我想屙狗屎。
Baptist: I BELIEVE shit happens! (Amen)
沁信会教：我相信会屙出狗屎的！（阿门）
Jehovah Witness: Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens.
耶和华目击者：让我们进去，我们就会告诉你为什么
（你）会屙狗屎。
Scientologist: Feces occurs.

科学：狗粪便受力后，挤出来了。
Hare Krishna: ShithappensShithappensShithappens.
印度野兔教：屙狗屎屙狗屎屙狗屎。
Existentialism: I shit therefore I am. (Defeco ergo sum)
存在主义：我屎故我在。（……※◎！～）
New Age Religion: Shit came to me in a vision.
新世纪宗教：在幻觉中，狗屎向我们走来。
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
塔法里教：点燃这狗屎，我们吸它的烟。
Paganism: If you send shit out into the world,it will return to you threefold.
异教：如果你在世上屙出狗屎，你就会遇到三倍的狗屎。
Mormons: If shit happens, the Church gets 10%. 摩门教：如果（你）屙有狗屎，教堂拥有10％。 Stoics: This shit doesn't bother me.
苦行主义者：狗屎不会妨碍我。
Hedonists: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
乐观者：没有比屙狗屎再好的了。
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock knock. Shit happens.
耶和华目击者：敲一敲（gang门），就会屙出狗屎。
Atheism: No shit.
无神论：没有狗屎一说。
New Life Christian: Pay us money or shit will happen.
新生活基督教：给我们钱，否则会屙狗屎。
Quantum Physics: The probability that shit will happen is...
量子物理：屙出狗屎的概率是……
Quantum Physics 2: Shit is a wave AND a particle!
量子物理II：狗屎是波和粒子！
Branch Davidianism: David Koresh: I am the shit!
分支教？：大为·克瑞熙：我就是狗屎！
Occultism: I see shit happening in your future.
神秘主义：我看到你在未来屙狗屎。
Bahaiism: Same shit, different pile.
巴哈教：同样的狗屎，不同的屎条。

wuyu

When rice is rice, we get rice together and put it into our mouths.

Confucianism: Confucius says, "There must be a big Shit in three small Shit."

Demons: How does demon make shit happened?

画魔你太淘气了……怎么到处乱贴啊？